و ده حالى

إتنقلت من الإيمان بكل حاجة حلوة للتشكيك فى المسلمات، لللف فى دواير، و أخيرا للوقوف فى مكانى و عدم الأهتمام بأى حاجة. وقفت بس الدنيا حواليا فضلت ماشية، و بدأت تسرع فاكرانى كده هتحرك، بس تغيير مكانى مكنش من أهتماماتى. مكنش عندى مشكلة أفضل هنا، بس أعرف أنا هنا ليه، كنت عايزة وجودى هنا يزودلى حاجة

 

I set on a journey, not knowing where I am heading, but that is cool right? Sometimes you just have to let go and go with the tide.
I am there. Going anywhere.
At times I sink, but at others, I just swim backwards facing the sun.

 

It’s a mess that I’m sure was destined to happen.
And I’d rather keep you all out of the storm that I only seem to be enjoying.

 

image

Advertisements

I write.

image

Image

It is all up there.

Imagine me walking somewhere dark, alone, with no guidance of whatsoever. You’d think I’m feeling lost, but to your and my surprise, I’m not.

I know I am, but it doesn’t feel that way. I don’t know what is worse, me knowing that, or me being fine with admitting it.

Maybe it’s the tunnel, that gets you somewhere better at the end. I guess this is where I am. I’m changing routes, where I am has nothing to do with where I am going.

I have been reconsidering my destination, it’s still undefined, but I’m eager to set a time and place anyway.

 

I have been living in my head for too long now, and my head is leading the way freely, no more being hard on myself, no more struggles with every decision that I make. I have surrendered.

Because even though I knew before that there is more to this world, now I have seen a glimpse, only a small one, and that was enough to change my vision. A slight change in scenery is what I needed.

 

The strangers that I have came to know more about, the total random people that I got to read their thoughts, I thank you both for letting me float freely somewhere new.

I believe our paths intersected for a reason, whether you admit it or not.

 

And I know close friends are wondering what the hell am I talking about, I know I confuse you sometimes, but the world in my head is too real for you to comprehend, so I keep that to myself. bits and pieces of my life are stored there, only, forever.And I promise that I will always try to make up for the fact that I am keeping you all out of it, by trying my best to stay sane, only for you guys.

 

I’m seeking the balance, the dark grey.

Image

With no luggage, I’d leave.

tumblr_ml9viq8Sef1qm6j0to1_500

I’m not sure to what extent I mean this, but it did definitely cross my mind.

I have so much I’d want to leave behind, and so much to look forward to in some other place.

But then I remember, I have so much to stay here for as well.

 

And then I fall asleep and wake like nothing has happened..