Irrelevant confessions..

 

there is this wall that holds back all my real thoughts, real feelings. A wall that is too comforting to keep. yet impossible to not try and bring it down every time I think about my existence. It’s like I insist on making it harder, more complicated.

 

It’s weird.

 

I know there is something special about me. somewhere beneath all the laughs and comments and everything that I do, I have found a genuinely good heart. I know.

but I keep on doubting all the time.

 

Contradicting, yes I do realize that.

 

But c’mon, who is ever sure of anything?

 

I’m in a desperate need for inspiration. something huge, new and tempting to love and follow. I have been saying this for far too long now.

 

I’m not sure why I decided to start this post, but maybe to let you all know, that the noha that started this blog almost a year ago, is drifting. On the personal side, and also on the blogging side.

 

I write for myself now, and that is because I lost my way while trying to guide everyone. I’m not saying I’m regretting it, no not at all. I just think that now is my time to be guided. And unfortunately people -including total strangers following the blog- will have to bare with me, at least those who willingly check it everyday.

 

I’m sorry for not being the ray of sunlight I have always wanted to be.

I’m sorry I stopped being myself.

And I’m really really sorry if I ever mislead you. I never meant to bring anything but happiness and hope into your lives.

 

So in an attempt to make things a little better, I tell you this: I know that I’m muddling through. But I also know that this is temporary. Because I believe I will get somewhere, hopefully soon. And I will always keep hoping for that “somewhere” to be really worth the wait.

This too shall pass.

 

“And I think I will be needing more than just a minute.”

 

Have a good night sleep everyone. And please smile before you close this post. please. I need to know I’m not ruining anyone’s day by my dark twisted thoughts. : )

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Maged
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 23:34:56

    Now we’re talking!

    Reply

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